Monday, September 08, 2014

Maybe not so sweet


Today I'm driving into the big city--Eureka, Calif.--to get my name changed on my driver's license. I had no idea it was such a big deal. But just like back in the day when you could scurry down the jet ramp in the terminal and greet your returning loved one as they passed through the galley behind the cockpit, or not have a credit card, or just decide to go by a different name, these days that doesn't fly.

So what seemed like the hard part, actually making the decision to change my name, was the easy stuff. Then I had to go to court.* then, instead of just waving my Real Court Document around, I had to down to Social Security in person and get a new card. Ditto for my driver's license. (Strangely enough, my employer, the United States Postal Service, was okay with me changing it online.) I understand; they are controlling documents after all. And another chance for California to collect a fee.



I of course waited too late to make an appointment so I'm going to have to take my chances with the rest of the risk-loving citizen mob. My timing will be tricky--I want to get there early enough to make it back in time for a lunch date, but late enough to swing by S.T.I.L. and pick up some new knee pads for tonight.

Yes, about tonight. I'm going to try going back to derby. I have reservations. Hesitations. Trepidations.

Back in May, when I was overwhelmed with emotion from my Very Shitty Year-and-a-Half, I abruptly quit the league. Wondering if my husband would ever be right again, losing my mom, panicking over the what-ifs about my brother's condition--because if what happened to him happened to me, I would throw my ass off an overpass--I just could NOT take any more slights, real or perceived, about being such a laggard about practice. Showing up late (if at all), unwilling to be aggressive on the track, being totally unwilling to take any criticism...And let me tell you, ladies, you haven't lived until you've had someone twenty years younger than you crawl up your ass about your lack of drive and athleticism.

Fuck. You.

Yet, just like horseback riding with its epic falls, derby, with its aches and epic bruises, was something I just cannot stay away from. Movement is my drug. So like riding I'm going to try again. But I still have some anger issues (reservations). I also have a gnarly bone bruise on my elbow and a sore back from a spectacular fall while navigating the cavalettis bare-back. My knee is scraped and sore from tumbling down my porch steps this Monday (trepidations). I am feeling banged-up and old, and that has me feeling hesitant.

Having Mr. Sports living at the house helps, as I have somebody to discuss sports psychology with. (G-man can riff on just about any subject, but not that one.) it's like having an in-house personal trainer. And my personal trainer says it's time to get back to derby.


Who falls down concrete stairs and doesn't even get a bruise to show for her efforts?!

(And the hoodie? It says "Trinity: When Humboldt isn't good enough")

*Okay, court. All I heard was, Show uo on such-and-such a date at such-and-such a time. I didn't stop to think the courthouse has three entrances, four floors, and any number of departments...So where exactly should I go? By the time I'd figured it out (and removed the pocketknife in my bag) I was late. My reward was sitting in the back and listening to the parade of restraining-order petitions. Can you imagine that as your job day after day? In a windowless room?

Two hours later the only people left in the court were the judge, the court reporter, the bailiff, a scrawny dude wearing a Breaking Bad t-shirt, and me. The judge looked at us. We looked back, andwith a confirming glance at Mr. Breaking Bad, I spoke up. The judge riflrd through the stack of papers on his desk, then looked up and said, "Granted. Pick up your paperwork any time after Monday."

I never did learn what the other guy was there for.

Monday, September 01, 2014

Well, I'm back.

As much as I like to single-mindedly dive into projects, I realize that I can only handle about thirty minutes of combing through old photos at a sitting before I have to stop and process. And, just like in Oaxaca, what beter place than in a blog?


Remember these? If you're under, say, 45 you probably don't. Google "viewmaster."

Where have I been? Well, hanging out a lot on Facebook. If you're there, too, you probably know that G-man had open-heart surgery last September to replace a defective mitral valve. That was wildly successful, and he has mostly mended in the year since.

About the time we were hunkering down for his surgery, though, we found out that the dizziness and jaw-pain my mom had been experiencing since shortly before my June visit was not TMJ, Bell's Palsy, or an old lady's heart as had been floated. No, it was salivary-gland cancer. Have you ever tried to deal with cancer long-distance? Doesn't work so well. Normally my cousin JoAnna, who lives ten minutes down the road and is a nurse to boot, would look after her. But her husband, my cousin Stephen, had congestive heart failure about the same time, then a stroke and another, smaller, heart attack, so she had her hands full. We got a home healthcare nurse to stop in once a week, then added an out-of-work nurse's assistant. Then my brother made the big sacrifice and moved back home to oversee her care and finances.

Come January of this year, though, and I knew I needed to go out there myself and assess the situation. My step-son moved back to Arcata so I felt like I could leave G-man and head to Texas. I decided to drive so I could take the dog for support. Glad I did! Not only was it a rad road-trip, but when I got to my mom's and saw the situation myself I knew it was time to start making the big decisions. Then my brother had a stroke.

I could go on, and I'll detail some of this in another post. I put my mom in hospice care at the tail end of March; she passed May 3rd. My brother was--and still is--in the same care facility as she was, so she had family with her right to the end, for which I am eternally grateful to my brother, as that was not easy.

So I have been zoning out on blogging and life, but I think I am ready to slowly come back. But man, it's hard to wear the big-girl pants sometimes.

Saturday, October 26, 2013



The mail was waiting for me when I came in from the garden. The usual fire-starters from Suddenlink, Geico, and BedBath&Beyond, but a letter, too, the thin paper necessary for Air Mail both attracting me and repelling me. My life here is quiet, a small pension, a garden plot, and selling eggs and vegetables to the neighbors. The drone of insects in the summer air fills my head, keeps it clear of old thoughts. I traced the fragile edge of the envelope once, twice, walk away but come back. Always, I come back.



The slides look blank to my eyes, black squares in smudged white frames. I can't read the faint cursive on the single sheet inside. Nothing else in the envelope. Now, the envelope...Cyrillic cancellation, Russian stamps, no return address. Who is Zarcagual?

The only thing I am sure of is the seal in red wax on the back of the envelope: a six-leaved palm frond under what I always thought looked like a cloche jar, and the cursive L of the Librarians.

The Librarians! I thought they were all dead. The temple blew up. Nobody could have survived that.

I throw the letter in my traveling bag.

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Mariposas of Leisure


We are terrible tourists, Greg and I. In four days we have seen zero area attractions--unless you count a pet cemetary as an attraction, in which case we have seen one. And epic freeway traffic; we've seen that, too.

(The news says it's been "chilly" lately...Really? It's been mid-70s, so nice.)

Anyway, today was the best day yet. I slept in til an astonishing 7:30, had coffee and reading time with my love, then we hopped in the car and headed to the Santa Anita fashion mall to meet my grade-school friend Pam and her kids for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. The restaurant was very accommodating as it was a four-hour lunch! We had a lot to catch up on, and I loved having time to talk with her kids, all grown now, and a real delight.

Then, as if the day could possibly get better, we headed over to Burbank to go trail-riding at Circle K Stables, nestled at the foot of Griffith Park. Since Greg starting taking lessons a year ago, we haven't ridden together. I haven't even seen him ride, so we were pretty excited to do this together.

We then ended our fabulous day with a tlayuda, a selection of Jarritos sodas, and a bottle of Lagunitas.

We might just get up tomorrow and go back to Burbank!

The Circle K corral.

I introduced myself to the horses while the wrangler matched riders with horses.

  
Greg's on! We were amazed that Circle K had a helmet big enough to fit his ginormous Stafford head.


Greg's riding Chief, a good ol' gelding of a roan.


 ...and Chief's place in the herd was up front! He and Greg took off like a shot.

 It took me some maneuvering to get around the Asteroid riders but soon it was G-man and I in front, setting the pace...And the pace we chose was, fast! I'm sure some of the asteroids behind us weren't thrilled to be cantering so much, but we didn't care. At one point, while we were waiting for the slower riders to catch up, one of the Asteroids asked us, "Are you professional riders?" Ha! But now Greg feels that he no longer needs to put "novice" on the trail-riding forms. Damn straight, G-man!

 Back at the corral with Chip. Or Snip. I'm not sure which. On our ride together I called him Beautiful Chestnut, which he was.

Monday, August 05, 2013

Estamos listos

After last night's super-feed at Guelaguetza, I was not exactly looking forward to breakfast anytime before noon. So while Greg slept, I got up on the late side--almost 6!--and went out to explore the neighborhood at my own brisk pace. By the time Greg was up at 8, I was ready for a second cup of coffee and having scouted things out I knew where to take him.

Denver isn't the only town with a Devil Animal...good thing we're packing the Power of Juquila!

After an expedition to Burbank to buy sports bras we were finally ready to eat a meal so back to Koreatown for a stop at Expresion Oaxaquena. We were now acutely aware of the need to pace ourselves so we just got a lunch plate each: enfrijoladas for me, entomatas for Greg, and two fancy horchata with nuts, cantaloupe bits, and a dollop of sandia nieves. Wow!

We still ended up stuffed, but oh my those beans and tortillas tasted good. Nothing to do, really, other than read and nap. I love vacation!

(We did better at a late dinner: two tacos and an agua fresca each and done!)


I believe that's a chicken tinga (front) and a mole poblano taco, which is what Greg had.

And on the other side of the table, a cochinita pibil (front) and hongo & cilantro taco, which is what I had. They were delicious.

 Heh.

Smart phone, dumb car

Even though we're taking this trip in order to attend my 30th high school reunion, I don't usually feel old but for some reason, technology was against us today. It started in the Southwest terminal, when we had to ask a young man in line at the baggage check-in counter how to have the machine scan our boarding passes--we could NOT figure it out from the video directions. Climbing in our rental car was worse. I always get the smallest car they offer, because not only am I used to driving a very small car, but economy cars have a minimum of fancy shit on the dash to confuse me--again, much like the car I already drive.

This car confuses me.

But we found someone's wallet at the rental terminal, and for being so nice in turning it in with all its credit cards and cash (three whole bucks!), the nice lady at the Budget counter upgraded us for free to a Ford Fusion. A nice car, but loaded with buttons and screens and who knows what. We had to ask how to turn on the A/C, then we had to pull over and figure out how to turn it down, or off. The rear window wipers we've given up on--we've pushed every button there is and they won't turn off. Driving through the depressing, endless-seeming miles of suburban tract housing and malls just about finished us off.

But as we got closer to downtown L.A. we started to relax. Our natural environment is downtown: the last three places we've lived, the last ten years, have all been in city center.

No, the cat did not come with us. I was dinking around with my iPad and Blogger, trying to see if I could get photos from the iPad into Blogger, when I found something that asked me if I wanted photos from my phone...And this photo of a very young Vivani popped up, as did a bunch of photos of our trip to Egypt. Weird.

And as we drove up Normandie Ave and crossed Olympic Blvd, Greg swiveled his head around and said, "I think Guelaguetza is...there!" Maybe half a mile from our hotel? So we dropped our bags, placed the Wishfrog and Amusement Owl on the dash, and drove over for some Oaxacan food.

We sensibly knew not to order two tlayudas, but with chips and a botana to share and a tamarindo agua fresca for the man and a limonada mineral (slap! slap!) AND a michalada for me--I was thirsty after the plane/airport ordeal--it was still a lot of food. Lunch and dinner combined into one meal!

I'm happy to be in the land of racial confetti, happy to be on vacation with my hubs, and happy to be full of Oaxacan food, even though my stomach hurts!

Our crash pad for the next four nights, the Shelter Hotel.


Strolling the two blocks back from the coffee shop on Wilshire toward the hotel.

 We're here!

Amusement Owl



We told our house-sitter that we'd leave early, but of course the post office left me no time during the week to prepare. I didn't even have time to blame procrastination! Though I did read the Sunday paper, watered the plants, put some art up on the wall...then I started cleaning and packing. We left at 2:00 p.m. Add sandwiches and the bank and it was 2:30 before we got through most of Eureka.

Our car's dashboard shrine: that's Wishfrog, our parking deity, hanging from the rearview mirror, with Our Lady of Juquila clipped to the dash mat, our keyring wishfrog, and the Amusement Owl tucked up by the windshield.

Since we got such a late start, we skipped crashing at my daughter-in-law's place in favor of finding a random hotel at the airport and calling it a day. I am so fortunate that not only does my husband thrive on spur-of-the-moment travel decisions, so does the rest of his family! We are always dropping in with minimal lead time. Even so, coming in for a visit, maybe some dinner and Oh can we stay the night and can you drop us off at BART the next morning? Monday morning? A bit much. Then Greg says, Well, maybe I can stay a few days to visit after we fly back next week. Which is a big deal when you're talking lots of animals and a wife who works lots of hours. But it's a good idea: unrushed family time, see some friends...it'll be a good opportunity to share some time with our grandson and allay his fears about Da's surgery. Well, I say "we," but it'll not include me. Same old song!

So we decide, yeah, no crazy rushing around trying to hook up with family on the way down. Instead, we will just find a room at the airport.

I think at that point many people would pull out their smartphones and head to Yelp, TripAdvisor, Hotels.com, something. We just drove to Hegenberger. Only I got off an exit too soon. Then we changed our minds and said, Well how about those motels near 23rd? Oh, there's a detour...and so on.

But Greg and I have our system down, and whoever is driving does what the navigator says. So when he said Turn! I turned and voila, a row of three executive traveler hotels. Which one, Navigator? ... Best Western it is!

All this room for little ol' us?

We waltz in and five minutes later we have a shuttle arranged to take us downtown to Everette & Jones BBQ and are wandering around a hotel room that is almost the size of our tiny mansion--700 sq. ft! It even has its own porch, which I am using now.
We had our own porch! And it came not only with a view of the estuary but a goose promenade.


...and foggy, just like home!

Tomorrow, Adventures in Airport Parking (did we make advanced plans? No!) and Los Angeles.